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Yesterday, I didn’t go into work.  I didn’t leave my bed until 11:30am or so, and I was still debating if I should go in or not after my shower.  Then I had lunch (jjambbong ramen with a slice of cheese, kimchi, doritos, blueberries) and eventually decided to stay home and mope around.  Moping due to this rash I have; it’s everywhere!  My feet are bad, there’s some on my fingers and a little on my arms, and it’s on my thighs and calves, these little bumps that are ridiculously itchy when there’s a flare-up.  They look like bug bites, but they can’t be mites or bed bugs because then ChuChu should be itching too.

In any case, M called me at 10/11pm or so.  We talked about a little of this and a little of that.  He started off the conversation my groaning/moaning at me, then complained about how I didn’t miss him and didn’t talk to him all day.

M:  I was going to call you at 4pm, but then I was like, no, you’re at work, and then I was going to call you at 5:30pm, but then I was like, no, you’re probably making dinner, and then I was going to call you at 7pm, but then I was like, no, she’s probably eating dinner, and then I called you at 7:30pm and you didn’t pick up.
Me: Oh, I didn’t go into work today.
See, you didn’t miss me!  You didn’t call me!
I didn’t know if you were busy or not.  I was moping around the house.
You don’t miss me.
Of course I do.
Are you going to come to the cookout?
What cookout?
The one your whole family is invited to.
When is the cookout?
I don’t know.  The 20th.
But we’re going to be at the Water Boat Festival all day.
After that.
But then we have to go to Ming’s house.
So, you’re not going to come?
See, you don’t miss me.  You won’t even go to Europe with me.
No, I can’t go to Europe with you.  I told you.  Try to convince my mother.  It’ll never work.
No, you just don’t want to.  Because you know we’re going to go backpacking.
*Pause* Oh, that’s right.  I don’t want to go backpacking.
But I can’t go either.
Then we’re not going to see each other until September I guess.
Why won’t I see you before then?
I don’t know.
You won’t even visit me?  Wow.
I was going to visit you today, I was going to surprise you at work, but then I didn’t because I thought you’d be busy.  You didn’t even go into work today, it’s a good thing I didn’t go.
Aww, you were?

He kept saying he missed me.  Later in the conversation:

M: I want to see you.
Me:  Then come see me.

There was no direct response, he started talking about something else I think, lol.  I called him this morning at around 11am when I was going to work:

M:  Do you miss me?
Me: Of course I miss you.  Why?
I dunno, just checking.  I miss you too.

I don’t know what it is, but it seems like he just really misses me.  It makes me happy, but I’m a little too concerned about my rash to miss him as much as he misses me lol.  I’m really scared and I want it to go away.
These are just things that I hadn't had the time to write up before.

Monday, May 30, 2016

M: My mom said something about you
Me:  What?
It's a secret.
Tell me.
It's a secret.
No, tell me.
She said you're beautiful.
What? *utterly confused*
She called you beautiful.
Can I have some context?  That's kind of random.
I don't remember what she said exactly in Khmer, but I'm telling you the meaning behind her words.
And my aunt loves you.
Which aunt?
You know which aunt. (Lol the wife of his older uncle)
Okay, just wanted to make sure.
My parents were like, 'all she had to do was jomreapsoowah her and she would love her.

Saturday, June 4, 2016
So ridiculous...

M:  Send me a picture of your boobs.
Me: No.
But I wanna see Jessica.
Only Jessica?
...yes.  I'll settle for that.
I wanna see Jillian.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

M: I think we were meant to be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

M: I like boring and simple and you like boring and simple, right?  Unless I'm blinded by my love for you.

M: I like how you sing to me when you know I'm sad.  And I like how you (other things I can't remember...how you have your priorities straight, and how you focus on education, and give your money to your mom even though it's against your will...)

And when I said I'd be right back:

M: Okay, I'm just gonna go to bed I think.  Good night.  I love you.  Muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah.
Me:  Okay, bye.
Muah muah muah.
Good night.
Muah muah muah muah.
(can't hear me) Me?
Muah muah muah.
Good night.
You don't want to give me a good night kiss?
No.  Muah.
You have to give me the same number I gave you.  I gave you like 25.  Twenty four more.
Good night.
But there are 20 more!
That's all you're getting.
Okay, I guess I can accept that.  Good night.  Muah.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

M: Me.
Me: M?
I love you.  With aaaaalll my heart.
Do you?
I do.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

M: Kyom nuk Me
Me: Huh?
Kyom nuk Me.
Awww, I miss you too.
Kyom nuk klang nah
Really.  I wish you were here so you could hold me.
So, I was allowed to go to M's graduation, where I met his older brother and uncles and aunts for the first time.  It took a bit of teeth-pulling, but eventually my mother texted me on Thursday saying that I could go, so that day I went to get him flowers and a balloon.

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 5am because he lives two hours away and his graduation started at 9:30am.  So, I mean, I did wake up at 5am, but then I shut off the rest of my alarms because I thought I was awake enough to get up, but I didn't, and my mother ended up opening my door at 6am.  I jumped out of bed and got ready and left at 6:45am, so I was about 15mins late (I was supposed to get to M's house by 8:30am).  The drive there was pretty good, although I had to stop for some construction.  I can't quite remember the way to get there or come home, though, so I'll have to work on that.

Due to some fast driving, I actually got there at 8:35am, instead of 8:45am like I had thought.  So yay I was only five minutes late.  His dad opened the door for me and I ended up sitting myself down in the kitchen.  M's brother and I shook hands and talked for a little bit, then he took his dog out for a walk.  His mother talked to me a lot about this and that, and eventually we left at about 9am.  I sat in the back with his younger sister to my right and their mother next to her, his father driving and his older brother in the passenger seat.  I talked to his older brother a bit about his schooling, but then I was mostly silent for the rest of the ride.

We parked on a ramp because there was no other parking spaces available in the garage, and M's uncles/aunts' van parked behind us.  We got out of the car and I sort of stayed out of the way as they reacquainted themselves with each other, saying hi and hugging.  A woman whom I would later find out was M's older uncle's wife locked eyes with me and so I greeted her and she also went in to give me a hug, so I lightly hugged her back.  A moment or so later, I was looking behind me and trying to figure out what we were going to do/where we were going to go.  An older man with white hair came into my line of vision (standing closer to me than the people I had been looking at) and he waved and said "hi!"  I immediately/reflexively brought my hands up to sapeh dai.  As we continued to walk, he talked to me a little and suddenly said, "I like you."  Me, surprised, "You do?"  "Yeah."  "Oh, thank you."  He turned out to be M's older uncle, and I really liked him.  He's hilarious and open and kind and really just absolutely funny.

On the way up there, M's aunts and uncles asked me a bunch of questions quickly.  His older uncle's wife spoke to me in Teochew, asking if I could speak it, and I blanked for a second, then recovered and replied to her in Teochew, "I only know a little."

When we got up to the main venue, M's mother realized that she had forgotten the tickets.  The adults had a moment of panic, and M's dad was about to jump in the car again to go get them from the house.  We were already late to the event, it was probably 10am already.  M's older brother then suggested that we check with the staff if we could just go in after giving an explanation.  Random thing to note: as we were walking upstairs, M's older uncle, I think purposely, made sure to be last; he always gestured for me to get on the escalator first.  Very sweet.  In any case, after explaining to the security people, they were super nice and just let us bypass security and go in.

We found seats in the top section, which was relatively empty.  Everyone had crammed into the bottom sections.  I ended up with M's younger sister to my left and his older uncle's wife to my right, her husband on the other side of her.  I had a nice time.  Eventually his aunt started talking to me a lot, for a really long time.  First,she started off talking about M and how he's a "good boy, nice boy" and how he's honest, doesn't know how to lie, doesn't speak ill of people, and doesn't know women/fool around.  She also told me this awesome story (prefacing it with-in Khmer- "Let me tell you this fun story about M so you can laugh") about one time when M was a little kid.  Apparently, they were out (maybe on vacation, at a store somewhere) and M had to pee, but he was crying and refused to because the bathroom was dirty.  So then his aunt suggested that he pee in a bottle in the car, and she would cover the windows.  He didn't like that idea either, so he kept crying and refusing to pee.  They had to drive somewhere else to take him to another bathroom where apparently he deemed it clean enough and peed.

After she took pictures of everyone sitting there, she said she would show me some pictures on her tablet.  I saw old pictures from back in the day in Cambodia of his aunt's mother as a child with her grandmother, I saw pictures of his aunt when she was in her twenties and thirties, I saw pictures of them back in Cambodia, trips they took back to Cambodia, her nieces/nephews that are successful and became doctors.  It was a long talk and a lot of photos.  She was reallly nice.  She also asked me how old I was, how old my parents were, how long we'd been in the States.  She said I was compatible with M, because he's a monkey and I'm a dog.  She also asked, "So, do you like M?"  Me: "Yeah, yes. I do."  Later she also asked, "So, do you like the family?"  "Yes!  Everyone is really nice.  Do you like me?  Because that's the more important question, right?" I said in a joking manner.  "Yeah, they do like you.  If they didn't like you, they wouldn't want to see you.  If they didn't like you, like *M's older brother's* girlfriend, he can't bring her around or to something like this because he knows his parents don't like her.  She's rude, you know, *shakes head* Not good."  She also asked me at some point, maybe early on in the conversation, "So, when do you graduate?"  "I have one year left."  "Do you want to get married right after graduating?"  "Uh, maybe.  We'll see."  Whaaaaat.  Lol.

During this time M's parents also pulled out the snacks that they'd brought along in a backpack and M's dad and older uncle insisted I eat.  His older uncle, after I refused different items/times, "Are you afraid of getting fat?"  LOL.  He has such a smiling face!  "No, I'm just not hungry."

Throughout this thing, i was texting M, trying to see him based on the coordinates he sent me of his seat.  He said he thought his was the last college to stand up to get their diplomas, so we would've had to wait for the whole thing, but his was actually third or fourth.  When he was standing in line, he finally spotted us up top and waved.  His older uncle missed that M had found us, so he yelled M's name really loudly three times.  It was embarrassing and hilarious.  His entire family pulled out their phones to take pictures and were waiting, on edge, to capture M's crowning moment of achievement.  I thought it was hilarious.

After M got called and we all took as many pictures of him as possible in the short time he was on screen, I saw him grab the stuff on his seat and make a beeline for the door.  We left our seats and I went to the bathroom with his older uncle's wife.  After I came out, I just caught a view of M's graduation robes as he went into the bathroom, just missing him.  I was surprised he'd found us so fast, and then I tuned into what his older uncle was saying; he was laughing and pointed at me, saying I was GPS.  Huh?  Apparently everyone also was wondering how M had found us so quickly, and older uncle had thought that I texted M our location.  "You text him, right?"  "Me?  No!"  "No?  You sure?"  "Yeah!  You can check my messages, haha."  M came out after a bit.  I made sure not to look at him at first, because I didn't want it block the way between him connecting with his family.  He came up behind/next to me, though, and said hi, then was puckering up his lips for a peck.  I stared straight ahead and said, "Nope."   He leaned down a little closer, making a kissy face at me, and I just said, "nope."  Not happening, bro, not in front of your family.

Then we took pictures and some nice employee helped us, joking that he was going to charge us $50 per picture.  I wanted to stay out of a few of the family ones, but his family insisted that I join in.  I went to stand at the end (for easy cropping if ever need be), but then they insisted that I stand next to M, so I was standing next to him in all of them.  Unfortunately, and something I regret, is that we weren't able to take a nice photo together.  We were rushing to get out before traffic, and in the process, M said, "Wait, we didn't take a picture together," so we ended up taking a quick selfie as we were walking to the exit.  I look weird in it and M's face is out of focus.  It makes me sad.  I had meant to take a nice one together after getting back to his house, but I forgot.

We walked to the car and I got into M's dad's car, ignoring when M asked his family, "Where should I sit?"  I heard his dad say, "There's room in the van if you want to go with your uncle."  His uncle, "Oh, yeah, there's plenty of room."  I got in the car and closed the door, but then the door opened and I heard a, "I'll sit with Me."  I ended up sitting between him and his sister- the middle is uncomfortable, I had to place my feet like a Princess Diaries princess.  Anyway, it was nice being next to M.  He tried to kiss me again, but I was like, nope, your father and brother are sitting directly in front of us.  He kept making a kissy face but I didn't peck him.  He was really tired and ended up resting his head on my shoulder a few times.  After a few minutes he took hold of my hand, resting it on his leg, his hand on top.  He fell asleep in the car holding my hand.

His dad drove straight to lunch- dim sum and Chinese food!  It was the place I had gone to before with M for a Sunday brunch date while I was at my aunt's house doing my internship.  We got there and the five of us ate some dim sum while waiting for the other family/car to arrive.  (Before walking into the place, I think I finally let M peck me?  Was it now or was it before this?  I can't remember.  I just remember that we pecked eventually at some point before getting back to his house because he pecked me but his lips were slightly open so my upper lip was a bit wet.)  M kept putting food on my plate for me to eat <3.  He really is a very sweet boy.  Eventually the other car came.  From my right, it was M>older uncle's wife>older uncle>older brother>younger sister>father>mother>younger uncle's wife>younger uncle>younger uncle's son (on my left- the table was a circle).  When they arrived, older uncle and his wife order Chinese food, and apparently he was friends with an employee, so we had really good service and it was a nice time.  There was a nice balance of me talking to M and  me being interrogated by his younger uncle this time.

His younger uncle asked me a lot of the questions his older uncle's wife had asked me.  His first question was, "Do you know Khmer?"  In Khmer, I replied, "I can understand it, but I'm not very good at speaking it."  His wife was also looking at me, and then, speaking to I guess the rest of the table, said, "This much is pretty good, isn't it?"  His uncle asked more about how old I am, how old my parents are, how long we'd been in the country, if I was born in America, where I live, how M and I met.  When the adults went back to their conversation, his cousin asked, "Wait, so you guys met at college?"  "Yeah."  "How did you meet in college?"  Me:  "In class."  M:  "It was fate.  I looked at you and you looked at me and our eyes met.  It was fate."  Me:  "Uh, no, it wasn't.  He was just looking for someone to cheat off of."  M:  "No, it was meant to beeee."  Cousin: "Oookay, that's enough."  Hahahaha.

Younger uncle's wife also asked me, "What do your parents speak to you at home?  Khmer?"  I replied to her in Khmer as well, "Khmer, English, Chinese Teochew, all of them."  She then said to the rest of the table something along the lines of, "Wow, if I can understand this much, she's really good" meaning I speak Khmer well enough that she's impressed.  Aside from the questions, there were also four moments of older uncle that I want to mention:

  1. He imitated a video he saw on FB that showed how people steal purses at restaurants.  He actually recreated the scenario using his wife's purse and the empty table next to us.  The purse was hanging on the back of the chair of our table.  He sat in a chair at the empty table and stood up, acting like he was done eating, and then without looking, swiped the bag like he owned it.  His wife said, "You should talk on the phone."  He was like, oh right, and then said, "Yeah, then you act like you're talking on the phone" then walked swiftly away.  He imitated it a couple of times to everyone's laughter, and then again once his employee friend and a server stopped by.  It was hilarious.

  2. Later into the meal, he looked at me and said, "Don't be shy" with a wave of his hand.  I replied, "Okay."  "Okay?  Don't be shy, just eat."

  3. He asked how I got here.  M's mother replied for me saying I drove myself this morning.  He asked if I was going to stay until tomorrow, and I said no, I'd be leaving soon.  Then he said that M should take me home.  M's mother or father said something like, "No, she drove her own car here herself, how is M going to take her home?"  He said seriously, "No, this is what you have to do, okay?"  He looked at M and me.  "M is going to take you home in your car, okay?  He says hi, hello to your parents, and then you take him back home.  Okay?  Makes sense, right?"  Everyone laughed.  Funny funny man.

  4. Towards the end of the meal, there was a moment when he said to M's dad (his own younger brother) very politely in Khmer, "Excuse me, may I please have some of that food over there?"  M's father replied quickly, "Oh, yes, yes, of course."  I giggled/laughed (because it was really funny that the older brother would speak in such a way to the younger, and cause the younger one to be a bit flustered).  No one else was really paying attention to the exchange, but he looked at me and smiled and said in Khmer, "Look at that, Me is laughing [at me/us]."  I think he liked seeing that he could make me laugh, and that I found small things amusing.

Once we finished the meal, we went outside.  M's mother and older uncle's wife went into the adjacent Chinese mart and M's father was going to drive us younger ones home, then come back to the store after.  I bid the uncles and younger uncle's wife farewell and we got in the car, M's younger sister in the middle, fortunately for my feet.

When we got back to the house, I unlocked my car door and, while I was putting my stuff in my car, said to M, "Hey, you wanna grab that stuff in the back seat?"  "What? What- awww, you actually got me a balloon?  It's deflated.  Oh, wait, oh, you got me flowers toooo?  You didn't have to.  Thank you, I love them."  I think I let him peck me at this point, because his father and brother and sister had their backs to us and were walking into the house.

His brother stayed downstairs in his room, his father went back to the Chinese market, so it was us and his younger sister.  I sat down in the kitchen and he took of his tie and put it around my neck, then went to change his clothes.  He eventually took the tie back and then told me to stay put.  He went to get the sunglasses he bought me for my birthday and had me try them on.  "Good?" I asked.  He walked me to the bathroom so I could see for myself.  "Do you like them?"  "I do.  Do you?"  "I think they look good."  "Yay!  Happy birthday!"  "Thanks.  But why can't you keep them until it's actually my birthday?"  "But you already know what it is, so you should just take them."  "But I still can't wear them yet, I haven't had my Lasik yet."  "Just take them.  Besides, it's only one part of your present"  I ended up taking them with me.  When we walked back out, I was suprised to find out that his younger sister was preparing a birthday present for me too.  I don't know if he put her up to it, but it's rather sweet nonetheless.

M then said, "Can we just go into the living room?"  And so the four of us did (including his dog).  It was the first time I'd been in his living room, and I voiced such information.  "Really?"  "Yeah.  You guys are never in here!"  "That's true."  His younger sister played with the dog, I sat at the end of the sofa and M sat next to me, on my right.  It took him only half a minute to lay his head down in my lap.  "You're so comfy," he said, snuggling into me.  I rubbed his chest with my right hand and and he hugged my arm.  I stroked his hair with my other hand.  Eventually his younger sister left to go watch something or play something.

M:  So, how's my family?
Me:  I like them.  I can tell that it's your family.
What do you mean?
Like, it just seems like you belong with them.  They're nice and friendly.  And your uncle is hilarious.  Oh, but you have to tell me what they think of me, especially if they don't like me.
Well I can't tell you if they don't like you.
No, you have to!
So that I can change my behavior so that they'll like me.
No, they have you like you way you are-
Because I like you the way you are.  Hmph *hugs my hand*

He puckered his lips and I pecked him.  After a few minutes, he fell asleep, or was resting, I wasn't sure then.  He rested his hand on top of mine, which was on his chest.  I just let him rest and observed my surroundings- his dog, his livingroom, him.  After twnety minutes, when it was about 3:20pm, I rubbed his chest.  His eyes slowly opened and said, "Did I just fall asleep?"

Me: Maybe.  Did you?
M:  I think I did.
Okay, well, I should go now.

He pouted and so I bent down to peck him.  We pecked again.  Then as I leaned down again, I paused.  He tried to lift his head to quickly kiss me put I pulled away and he pouted, "Awww."  I leaned down and we kissed for real, for a good five minutes or so.  I don't think I've mentioned this, but he has very good sucking power in those lips of his.

When he was sending me off, he stood outside the door and he whined about me leaving, as he is wont to do.  We kissed a few more times.  When I turned away, I felt him stroke my hair from behind and then gathered it into a loose ponytail to hold on to.  "Don't gooo."  So I paused and turned around, and he would peck me again.  This happened at least six times until he finally let me go.  When I walked to my car, I noticed a few black boys across the street that glanced over at me, and I hope they didn't see that whole thing between M and me.  Gosh, the embarrassment.  It would've looked weird from a third party perspective, whatever we were doing.

In any case, I got home at around 6:15pm because there was traffic all the way from M's house to exit 9.  I didn't really have any road rage, though, I was jamming out to some tunes.  Once I got home, the 'rents seemed okay, it was just really hot, and ChuChu and I went to so see Ying's dance performance at 7:30pm so that we didn't have to go today.  Her choreographed piece was honestly the best one!

Okay, so lots happened yesterday, and I'm sure there's plenty I've forgotten.  M told me that his aunt and uncle love me, and that they said I'm polite, and nice, and quiet, but it seems like I'm not sure if I want to get married right after graduating.  Apparently all his brother had to say was that I was quiet lol yeah.  And honestly, when I was sitting there on the couch with M's head in my lap, I think I felt like he could be someone I could marry.  I think meeting his family made me like him more.  Things are kind of awkward with me and his parents for some reason, particularly with his mom, but I don't know.  I think I liked his family a lot and it made me like him more.  Oh, and I told M before I left to apologize to his parents for not saying goodbye, and leaving before they got home.  Today M told me that his mother just said that she's not the type of person to be bothered by that, and that it was okay.

And I'm not sure, but I was exhausted after yesterday.  I think it's from the 1) a lot of people thing compounded by the 2) fact that I had to impress, be perfect/on point, speaking Khmer and Teochew.  I was so tired, especially when I tried to wake up today.  Plus it's been ridiculously hot.  We put our ACs in today thank the heavens.

Part 43.5: My Weird Feet

So, during that time we were resting and I was kind of curled up to him, he started examining my feet, and we talked about how I hate feet and they're weird and gross and urg I don't really like them, especially mine.  He discovered my weird toes (one on each foot kind of curls towards another toe, it's strange).  In any case, the other day:

(Monday night) Tuesday, May 24, 2016

M: I hope you like your birthday present.
Me: I hope so too.
It goes on your feet.
It goes on my feet?
And it came from Sports Authority, which only sells sneakers.
I told you not to buy me sneakers!  I won't wear them!
You need sneakers!
I have sneakers, I just don't wear them.
You need them to fix your toes.
Hey! Okay, yeah, I know, my toes are weird.
I'm just kidding, I love your toes; they're cute.

He's honestly really sweet.

Part 43: The Almost-First Time

So, M came to hang out today now that he no longer has any classes.  He graduates next week woohoo.  So, anyway, he got here and I closed the door.  When I turned around and walked toward him, he said "I missed you," put his arms around my waist, and kissed me rather intensely.  My arms automatically went around his neck and I was a little unbalanced so I leaned on him a bit more.  The kissing lasted for a good minute or so and then he followed me into my room.

I sat on my bed and he leaned on my shoulder as we chatted.  The small talk continued for awhile and we laid down.  We exchanged some sweet little kisses as we talked, and then he surprised me by taking initiative and lying on top of me.  His legs were on either side of me, so I couldn't thrust up against him, but I could feel his small hip movements pressing against me.  We kissed, and then he went for my neck.  He ended up giving me a noticeable hickey that became a joke for the remainder of our make-out/feel-up session because he would just stare at it, tell me it wasn't bad, and then I would be vocal about how I didn't believe him and it made me worried.

Eventually it was my turn on top and I said, "Revenge."  I ended up giving him three small hickeys, one on each side of his neck and one on his clavicle.

After a period of rest in which I was sitting on top of him, he very deliberately unbuttoned my shirt.  We just stared at each other for a second and then started laughing.  "I know, I'm very subtle," he said while laughing.  Then, I think I surprised him by taking off my shirt so that I was just in my tank top.  We started kissing again and I mumbled, "Not fair."  "What?"  "I took off something, so you should too."  "What should I take off?" he said.  I reached for his sweater and we ended up taking both his sweater and t-shirt off.  I started kissing him again and then he went for my bra.  I laughed as he tried to take it off.  "Got it!"  He only got one hook.  "Wait, why isn't it coming off?  Wait, there's another one?!"  "Yeah, there are two hooks."  "What kind of bra has two?!"  "All of them!"  He successfully unhooked it after a moment and we got back to making out for a bit.  After a minute, I stopped, looked down, and said, "This makes it look like my boobs are all the way up here."  M had pushed my bra up to get at my breasts and we laughed.  I ended up taking it off and M played/sucked on/massaged my boobs as we continued to make out.

M sat up and I thought he was just going to do that, but instead he started to stand up.  I was impressed that he could carry me and stand up at the same time, but I was surprised.  I had no idea what he was trying to accomplish.  Did he want to sit me down on my dresser?  Nope, not that.  Did he just want to stand up?  Nope, not that either.

Me:  What are you doing?!
M:  What are you doing?
What exactly are you trying to do?
I'm trying to change our positions.
It would've just been easier to flip me over

He ended up on top of me, in any case, and we got back to what we'd been doing, his periodic thrusting and our continued making-out.  After, he complained about his jeans being constricting.

M:  Can I take of my pants?
Me:  Sure.
M:  Really?  Yay.
Me:  It's not like I'm going to stop you.

He took off his pants and climbed on top of me.  After a period of making out, he lifted me up a second time:

M:  Grab on to me.
Me:  What?  Why?
M:  Just grab on to me.

He lifted me up and again switched our positions.

After some more time had passed, we rested.  I was on his left and he said, "I want to be big spoon."  And so he climbed over me and wrapped his legs around mine and cupped both of my boobs from behind.  "Are you using a wrestling move on me?" I asked.  "Yup."

After, he became the little spoon and I pressed up against his back.  My left arm was reaching around his front to touch his nipple and my right hand was around his hip area.  As he talked, I started kissing his shoulder, the nape of his neck, and between and around his shoulder blades.  He started moaning a bit.

M: Me, you're making George want to put a baby inside you.  (During a period of rest, I had thought of the name 'George' for M's penis, but then decided to stick with 'hipbone' for now.  M seemingly continued to use it despite my constantly saying, 'No, stop it, not George.  I can't take it seriously then.  We'll stick with hipbone for now.')
Me:  Oh really?

I continued kissing his shoulder blades/back/shoulders and I heard his breath hitch, then he started to breathe a bit more heavily.

M:  You're really making George want to put a baby inside you.
Me:  Hmm?

I moved my right hand from his side to his dick and started stroking it through his boxer briefs.  I felt him slightly thrust against my hand.  As I continued to do that and kiss his back, he suddenly flipped around and was on top of me.  For a while after that, he was kissing me and thrusting against me furiously.  It was pretty intense.  Honestly, I thought about actually having sex at that point; I mean, come on, the only things keeping him from entering me were his boxer briefs and my panties.  For a few moments, his lips were pressed hard against mine, not really moving while his hips were intensely pistoning.  When he buried his head into the side of my neck, I kissed his shoulders/neck.

After a good time of that, I muttered through our lips, "You're sweating."  Indeed he was.

M:  Yeah, I am.  And you're hot.
Me: I am?
M:  Yeah, you're really hot.  Or it's just me.
I'm pretty sure it's just you.  *fanning him with my hands*

After a moment he sat up and went to grab a tissue.  "Also, I came a little."  I stared at his back, pleased, as he cleaned himself, and ran my fingers down his back.

There was also a moment when we were resting that he we talked about his scars and I showed him my fractured toe, and we joked about how weird my feet were.

When we both started to get dressed, it seemed he was done.  I was putting on my pants when I felt him behind me.  I started to turn around but his arms wrapped around my waist and before I could stop it, he'd lifted me up and he lied down on the bed.

Me:  What are you doing?
M:  I do this to Ari all the time.
And do I want to be treated like Ari?
You do.
Let me go.  I'm too heavy.  I can hear it in your breathing.
Let goooo.

M wanted me to show him how to get his car washed for the first time, and so I actually ended up driving his car to the car wash.  Along the way, he said, "You know, this means I really trust you.  I don't let just anyone drive my car.  I don't even let Jeff drive my car."  "How about Con?"  "No, he doesn't have his license."  "Oh, wow."

After we got his car washed, I drove to Freshside and we had linner w/Con, Dan, and Jack, after which M drove me back home before Father got home at 5pm.  In the driveway, we were kissing for at least four minutes; I didn't really want to let him go.  He kept pouting and reached his hand out to me as I got out of the car.  We laced fingers and stayed like that for a minute or two before I pulled my hand away.  Once I had unlocked the house door, I saw him pouting at me again so I blew him a kiss.  He started to blow one back, then made a motion like he caught my kiss and put it in his pocket.  It was hilarious and corny and makes me feel like corn. *shiver*

When I was inside, M called me.  I mentioned, "By the way, I forgot to tell you, I gave you like three hickeys."
M:  What?!  Where?  I only see two.
Me:  There should be one on either side of your neck and one on your clavicle.
M:  Oh, there it is.
Me:  I hope no one noticed.

M called me at around 9pm but I didn't pick up b/c ChuChu was in my room hanging out.  I called him back at maybe 11:30pm and M informed me that they had noticed.

M:  So, Jack did notice the hickey.
Me:  She did?!  Wait, did you bring it up or ask them, or did they?
M:  Con brought it up.  He was like, 'Is that a hickey?'  I was like, 'I don't know, maybe, something.  What.'  And he was like, "I didn't notice until Jack mentioned it to me.'
Me:  Uhhhhh
M:  I have very observant friends, Me.
Me:  Maybe I should've put makeup on you too.
M:  Haha, it's okay.

Part 42.97 : Snippets

So, before we get to the details of today, I have a few snippets of convo:

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

M: "I miss you.  You don't miss me.  Waaaah."  And later that day, he was trying to think of a Justin Timberlake song and said, "I'm gonna Google it when I get to class.  And then I'm gonna sing it to you.  I'll serenade you.  And make your panties drop."  Me: Great.  Looking forward to it.

Monday, April 25, 2016

M: Hey Me...I love you.  Hehe.
Me: Love you too.
M: What if I couldn't have kids?  Would you still love me?
Me: Probably.  Would you still love me if I couldn't have kids?
M:  Of course I would.  I will always love you.  I would be sad, but we could get through it.

Sunday, April 29, 2016 at 1:40am

I was asking M interview questions because he was nervous for his phone interview with Fidelity.  I asked him, "What was your favorite class from college?"  He gave a long answer about a video-making class, and then we talked some more and he gave another answer:

M:  If I were to answer that, I would say...my statistics class.
Me:  Yeah?
M:  You know why?
Me:  Why?
M:  Because I met the love of my life there.
Me:  Haha awwww.
M:  Awww.
Me:  But really, though, what's the answer?
M:  That is the answer though.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

We were talking about randomt things, and he was feeling down because he hadn't heard back about his interview.  We were "arguing" about something.

M:  But Meeee.
Me:  But Mmmm.
M:  I love you.
Me:  Okaaay...what's up?
M:  I love you.
Me:  Okaaay.  I love you too.
M:  Do you really?
Me:  *no answer* (I just....I still have some misgivings.  Idk.)

Saturday, May 14, 2016

M was telling me about work that day and said:  "So I was talking to my apparel manager today and she was like, 'So when's the last time you saw your girlfriend?'  'Easter.'  'You haven't had sex since Easter?!'  And I was like, 'I don't wanna talk about this.'  And she was like, 'Wait, why?  Do you mean you guys haven't had sex yet?!'  I was like, 'I don't wanna talk about it.'  She was like, 'Seriously?'  And I replied, 'Okay, well, to be honest, I actually think she wants to wait until marriage.'  My manager was like, 'I would never be able to do that.'

Later in the convo, M asked me, "So, do you want to wait until marriage?  Because if so, then we're gonna get married next year or in the next two years or something."

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Me:  Good night.
M:  Night.
Me:  I'll talk to you later.
M:  You're leaving?  Why?
Me:  I'll probably be asleep soon.
M:  Okay.  Good night.  I love you.  Muah muah muah muah muah.
Me:  Love you too.
M:  Call me if you have any nightmares.  I'll be awake.
Me:  Okay, thanks.
M:  Sweet dreams.
Me:  You too.
M:  Muah.

Part 42.9: Loving "Forever and Ever"

Random bits of conversation from this morning (err...yesterday morning)

M: Are you going to love me forever and ever?
Me: Uh, I hope so.
Well I hope so too, geez. I was going to say that I'll love you forever and ever.
Awww, well I don't know.

M: I want to rearrange my room.  Should I do it?
Can you do it for me?
Why not?
How can I?
Just come and stay here for a week and do it.
I can't do that
Why not?
You know why.
Just tell your mother that we're in loooove.
That would just make it worse
Hahaha, she'd just slap you and be like "Nope."
For the record, my mother has never hit me, although she has yelled.
Well, an pretend slap.  And wait, are you telling me you've never been hit?
Yeah.  My parents never have.
I'm guessing your parents beat you?
Yeah they did!  But I deserved it.  I was in my own world when I was a kid.

End of convo, surprisingly b/c he usually doesn't say it in the morning:

M: Okay, I'll call you after.  I love you!
Haha, I love you too... (?)
Yay!  Okay bye.

Part 42.6: A Little Better

My feelings still haven't perfectly settled to the sort-of happiness they'd been at before, but I'm not as annoyed/depressed/angry/sad/bothered anymore.  Anyway, just wanted to type up some quick snippets of convo from today (technically yesterday, I guess).

M: How do you do it?
Me: Do what?
Be a perfect daughter?
I’m not one, so I wouldn’t know.
How do you be a perfect girlfriend?
I’m not one, so I wouldn’t know that either.
But you are.
Am I?
You are.

Later that night, I was taking notes and we hadn't spoken in a while.

Me: Do you want to hang up?  I can’t entertain you.
M: I like it when you’re on the phone with me- even if we don’t talk.
So, M did call me, as I expected he would.

M:  Do you have class tomorrow?
Me:  Yeah, I have class every day.  Do you have class tomorrow?
Oh, so your parents are going to Canada?
How long?  Are they driving there?
Yeah, they're driving.
How long will they be gone?  Or do you know?
Until Saturday.
Oh, that's not very long at all.
No, it's not.
M: Whyyy?
Me:  Why what?
Why do you ask?
Ask what?
How long my parents are going.  Do you want to come over?
No, I don't have time.

M: Me.
Me:  Yes?
Did you know…
That I miss you.
Do you?
I do-oo-oo.
Aww.  *Long pause, then I felt like I had to say it back because I would feel bad if he didn't say it back to me in this situation*  Me too.
You too?
Uh huh.

End of the conversation:
M: Okay, Me, I’m going to bed now.
Me: Okay.
I love you. Muah muah muah muah muah.
Okay, love you too.
Good night.  I love you.  Muah.
Uh, good night.

Really, what is it?  What's with him?  He must really miss me or something, but I don't understand- he could've seen me today if he really wanted to, since he had the day off.  It's difficult.  I'm worried about being selfish but I also feel like I'm supposed to have the right to be a little selfish in a relationship sometimes.  Ughghasdjf;alk hs;asdfakjh;

Oh, also, earlier when he was at BJ's with his dad:

*I hear his dad talking in the background*
M: I'm talking to Me.
M:  Are you doing anything tomorrow?
Me:  I have class tomorrow.
And what about your family?  My dad wants you and your family to come over tomorrow.
Oh...yeah...that's not happening.  We're all working.

That's very nice of his father, but I actually don't want my family to get involved with them yet, especially since I don't even know about Us.

Part 42: The Day After Down-Feels

So, I don't know what it was today, but M was speaking rather sweetly today.

He called around noon and he was at BJ's with his dad.  He was bored (they were getting their tires changed) and just walking around the store.

M: Did I fall asleep on you last night?
Me: Yeah.  Pretty early too.
Why didn't you wake me up?
Because I wanted to talk to you.
But you obviously wanted to sleep more, because you fell asleep.
You should've just yelled my name so I could've woken up.
Well, I did call your name a few times to check if you were asleep.


M: I'm so boooored.
Me: How long have you been there, anyway?
It's been like, five minutes.
Oh my god.
Are you kidding me?
Hahaha no.
Here I was, thinking that you had waited around for at least half an hour, and it's only been five minutes?
But I'm booored.
Okay, whatever.
But I miss you.

I think the conversation went something like that; I just remember it being kind of random.

He called me around 4:30pm or something when I was in class, so I called him when I got out around 5pm.

Me:  Hello?
M:  Hi.  So, how did you do on your exam.
Were you taking a nap?
So yes?
Okay, you can go back to your nap.
Okay, bye.
I love you.
*couldn't hear, walking outside*  What?
I love you.
Oh.  Love you too.

It was strange.  He said it very clearly and the trend over the past few weeks was that he'd only say it at the end of our nightly conversations.

I got home, made dinner with my sister, and checked my phone around 6:30pm.  M had called, so I called him back.  I think he might've said an "I love you" or an "I miss you" or made kissing sounds during the conversation.  My sister and I were going to see Allegiant at 7pm so I was starting to hang up with him.

ChuChu: Aren't you going to bring a jacket?  You're going to get cold.
Me: I don't need a jacket.  I don't get cold.  You know me.
M: *overhearing conversation*  Bring a jacket.
Me:  But I don't want to bring a jacket.
M:  Bring a jacket or else you'll be cooold.
ChuChu:  It's going to get chilly later tonight.
Me:  I don't want to bring one...

*at the car*

Me:  Okay, I have to go now.
M:  Noooo, don't hang up on me.
But I have to drive.
Unless you want to be on speakerphone in the car with my sister.
ChuChu: I don't want to hear him.
M:  Nooo.
Me:  She says she doesn't want to hear you.
M: Nooo.
Me:  I'm gonna hang up now.
M:  I love you.
Me:  Uh, me too.
M:  Muah.
Me: Okay, I'm gonna go.
M:  Muah, muah.
Me:  Bye.
M:  Okay, bye.

I wonder what was up with him today.  I mean, I was not feeling it today, but I tried my best to not let the coldness I was feeling creep into my voice/tone.  I don't know if he noticed, but I felt more standoff-ish today.  I just...don't know.  We'll see how he acts later tonight, assuming he calls me, because I definitely won't be calling him.  I'm not against speaking to him right now, but I'm not going to take the initiative to talk to him first.

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